Exhausted, I was running in the door after wrestling my 5yo out of one dress into another and as I came through the door, I saw this stunning young girl gliding in slow motion on the stage. She stopped and moved her head glacially slowly to her left. When her eyes were finally even with mine, I felt an electric jolt. It was like seeing the spark of the divine in another person or like she was showing me the face of God shining through her. The 2020 USA National Maryland Queen and mistress of ceremonies, Natalie Salmon said, “Let’s hear for Paris!” I suddenly realized this was Miya’s daughter, the mom who had helped me figure out where I was supposed to be and what clothes Vee was supposed to be in all weekend.
I was not surprised when the 7-year-old Paris Courtney Titus was crowned this evening.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m a former enlisted Marine. I never wear makeup, jewelry or fingernail polish. I hated putting on dress uniforms in the military. I’m a forever in blue jeans girl. My daughter, however, LOVES skirts and dresses and a rainbow ruffle skirt has become her signature. She wears tutus to tennis practice. And did tae kwon do training an Elsa gown. She’s definitely got her own mind about everything. So she started talking about winning a crown in a beauty pageant, and I signed her up online for the USA Junior Miss Maryland Beauty Pageant. Then received a list of everything I needed to prepare. I panicked. I sent a note to the organizational email asking how to escape. Stef Williams wrote me back. She promised to coach me along all the steps and to my amazement, we made it.
As I explained to the reception desk at the Holiday Inn in Solomons, MD where the competition took place, “My daughter wants a crown.” But I wanted my daughter to learn respect, courtesy, poise and dignity. Their response was effusive. They told me how they hosted the Miss World a few years earlier and were stunned at the women they met. Doctors. Lawyers. Doctors without Borders. All with amazingly long lists of community service. All who seemed to set the bar higher for what it means to be a good citizens. “They were great women!” they told me enthusiastically.
Immediately upon arriving at the hotel Friday night, we were waiting to check in and we met Paris while waiting in line. I think it was pretty obvious that Vee and I were both a little overwhelmed. Paris chatted with Vee while waiting to check in. Then Kennedy Williams told me Vee needed to record a video. We’d been in the car in t-shirts for 2 hours. I asked if we could just go change. Kennedy said, sure, but fast. That would be the mantra for the weekend. Vee changed into a pink and silver mandarin Chinese dress and we ran back downstairs. Then she got her first of many bouts of stage fright. I asked her if she wanted to go home. She said no. Maybe we had signed on more than she could handle. After the show, Dad Bin Hu said, “Vee did better than me on stage.”
Kennedy spoke softly. Vee come with me. She took Vee’s hand and Vee followed her to the display. The 2015 Maryland Jr Teen coached Vee through a couple of takes on video. It was the first of many such coaching sessions from the woman Vee would come to call “my dance teacher.” No doubt, without Kennedy, Vee would never have made it on stage. Without her mom, Pageant Director Stef Williams, I would have never gotten us together to arrive. Both wonderful, supportive and encouraging women helping other girls and women and our society.
The girls had a pajama party the first night which Vee loved it so much, she couldn’t sleep until nearly midnight on Friday. The next morning, we were up early to get her hair done at 8:45 and get up to the interview panel at 10 a.m. Then lunch and change clothes and over to the photo shoot on the waterfront. Then rehearsals and we skipped the smores and pizza party because I was exhausted. Thankfully Saturday night Vee fell asleep before 9 and slept until after 8 a.m. Back up and at em with 8:30 show time for rehearsals again ending at 10 a.m. and then back to Sunny to do her hair. After the hair, we grabbed lunch at the hotel restaurant and got some encouragement from Clovis, our waitress. Back upstairs to the room to change and practice the dance routine a few times and then it was show time.
I’m frankly surprised Vee made it on stage, she was so terrified, but she got a lot of help and encouragement from the girls she was now calling friends. Including a lovely girl Karter Jeanette Akinseye. Vee complained to Karter that her own dresses were too plain. Karter offered to let Vee wear one of her gowns for the evening portion. I think Vee actually would have, but it was a size 6 and Vee was significantly smaller than her new found friends. Karter and her mom were wonderfully supportive and encouraging. Another great example of great people.
In addition to being stunned by such an amazingly wonderful group of girls, moms, queens and the team organizing the event, I was also stunned by the endurance, energy and ability to withstand discomfort. The seafront photo was super cold and the girls were all huddled together trying to stay warm, but no one wanted to leave. The 2020 USA National Maryland Queen Natalie Salmon wrapped a blanket around the younger girls while everyone was getting staged for the photo. Sunday started at 8:30 a.m. and we arrived home at 7 p.m., but Vee immediately announced she wanted to do another pageant. She did confess her feet hurt after the 1st day’s practice, and I encouraged her to wear tennis shoes for the 2nd day’s rehearsal. During the show’s intermission, the girls were visibly tired and the pageant team brought drapes so they could sit down without getting their gowns dirty and chairs. The girls passed the time playing rhythmic hand clapping games and genuinely seemed to be loving the experience. Honestly, the weekend compared remarkably similar to me as military training. Perhaps that shared dedication to resilience is what created the bond and camaraderie.
I tried to tell Vee over and over all weekend, it’s not the gown or the face that wins the pageant. It’s the person. She has to be kind and courteous, polite and respectful all the time. She has to be powerfully confident. There are a dozen more terms too abstract for my 5 year old to understand like poised and graceful. All of these abstract ideas came together in Paris Courtney Titus, Kennedy Williams, Karter Jeannette Akinseye, Ariana Skylar Ruiz, Janelle-Victoria Nyamekye Abu, Joanne Mabel Ashun, Nyah Rose Quezada, Nylah Jackson, Aniyah Nelson, and so many more girls and ladies.
It was the most excited I’ve ever seen my daughter. Not even Christmas or her birthday compared to her enthusiasm for being a part of the pageant. And my hope that she would find positive role models was delivered in dozens. What an AMAZING weekend!
35-Year Public Affairs & IT Professional 